My inner musical theater kid wants to play Seasons of Love from Rent right about now but I will spare you from that and jump right into all of my rambling thoughts about this past school year. To be completely honest, I could write a novel and it would not fully capture everything. There was so much transformation personally and in the lives of those around me that to try and explain it all would fall short in too many ways. So, in hopes of giving just a glimpse into this year I want to share a little bit about the struggle, the laughter, and the transformation that marked out this year for me. The struggle: While there was not just one struggle within this year much of it circled back to transitioning into a way of life that was foreign to me. Transition is not an easy thing and transitioning into a work environment which is also your home comes with its own set of issues. Please hear me when I say that I have the most amazing coworkers who showed me more grace and love than ever before and so boldly walked with Jesus everyday that I felt pushed to do what I could to look like them. But, it is very hard to start living and working with the same people everyday. Not to mention that this job asks you to show up as yourself, bearing your entire being, to a group of teenagers and adults everyday. This took emotional, relational, mental, and physical energy that I didn't even know that I had. There was struggle in finding the best team dynamic, there was struggle in learning how to communicate and connect best with each student, and there was struggle in finding myself again in this new place that God had called me to. Towards the end of the year there was struggle with this whole pandemic thing that started and all of the changes that caused within the dorm and within the larger society and I sat in tension and struggle over many other things. But, while there was struggle God did not leave me without joy. The laughter: Gosh did I laugh this year. I learned how to laugh at myself, I learned that sometimes the sweetest laughter is in the midst of bitterness and frustration, and I let others lead me in laughter when it felt like things were getting a little too dark. I think the best thing about the laughter is it marked joy. Deep, unhindered joy that overflowed into my life from 23 crazy teens and 5 fellow staff workers. God gave me a family and while we were and are not a perfect one He showed me that there is joy amid the anger, there is joy in the sadness, there is joy when you are stressed, and there is joy to be found even in the darkest corners. My students guided me with laughter. They loved me well with laughter. They showed me all good car jam sessions include laughter. And their laughter brought my heart joy, even if it was 11:30 at night and I wanted to go to bed. My staff showed me that laughter takes away the power of most big and scary emotions. And most of all they all showed me that laughter, and the joy that follows, unifies and bonds us. So, year 1 at BFA, thank you for the laughter. The transformation: I will try and tie this up well but the transforming work that God started in me and others this year is far from over. One thing I know for sure though is that I have come back a softer, kinder, freer, more self aware Megan. It became very evident to me within the first couple of weeks in Germany that this season was intended to be one of growth and transformation for me. This sometimes felt overwhelming or like too much but the Lord was gracious to me and provided me with some amazing friends, family, and mentors to walk through everything with me. Every time I thought God had shown me enough to work on He uncovered something else that also needed my attention. In His time and faithfulness I have started to invite Him into these spaces to bring restoration and transformation. If I was shown anything this year it is that sometimes the work that needs to be done happens in quite, unattended places. While some of this transformation required me to be aware, rely on God, and work hard much of the transformation was allowing God into my heart to shape and soften me to become more like who He desires me to be. It wasn't just personal transformation I saw though. I saw 29 strangers come together and transform into a family, I saw students dig deep and ask hard questions bringing them into seasons of transformation, and I saw the town we live in transform and clothe itself in different colors. I am blown away at the ways my students were called up and in into lives that are being molded by the one who created them, whether they know it or not. God, thank you for starting something in my life, and others lives, that will continue to grow and call us further into who you desire us to be. This year is ending with many emotions and feelings but in all of that I know I am met by a God who loves me and holds me. He has brought me through this year stronger. He has kindly whispered to my heart correction and tangibly shown me His love through those around me. While I may never have enough words to describe all that this year was for me I am so grateful that He called me to become a pseudo mom to 23 kids whose hearts are scattered all around the world. With love, Megan
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About MeI am a daughter of the king just trying to figure out the world. I am embarking on a new adventure come August and I could not be more excited! Thank you for stopping by, I hope you find something you like! CategoriesArchives
June 2020
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