My inner musical theater kid wants to play Seasons of Love from Rent right about now but I will spare you from that and jump right into all of my rambling thoughts about this past school year. To be completely honest, I could write a novel and it would not fully capture everything. There was so much transformation personally and in the lives of those around me that to try and explain it all would fall short in too many ways. So, in hopes of giving just a glimpse into this year I want to share a little bit about the struggle, the laughter, and the transformation that marked out this year for me.
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If I have discovered something about myself over this year it is that I am a hopeless fixer. Try as I might I struggle to resist the urge to fix things. I mean this in a lot of ways. If something is physically broken I have probably tried to fix it or gotten the appropriate help to fix said thing. If someone I know comes to me with a problem after listening to them my gut reaction is to jump in and try to fix it. So, I am a hopeless fixer. Now that I have lived life as an RA for 7 months, I can confidently tell you, this job is different.
The whole point of my job is to get to know my students and then live my life alongside them, creating spaces for conversations, loving them as they are, and sharing the big and small ways God has and is transforming me. Most of what I do and hope for is small and quiet, not big and loud. Part of this job is sharing about the lives I see being changed by God and I have learned that is harder than it sounds. You see, it isn’t that God isn’t moving and changing lives here, it is just that the changes are subtle and often not flashy. Being able to see these things requires close observation. In short, my job here is to be a student of my students and to share about transformations, big and small. I have waited to write this blog for a while now. I have been thinking through what it means to be truthful in writing this but also finding the balance between what is helpful and hurtful to share in a forum such as this. In preparation for coming to Germany I read many blogs from former and current RAs and frequently was astounded by their eloquence, honesty, and profoundness. Every time I have sat down to write this post what has come out is none of those things. It has been hard for me to share my experience in a way that is not just a jumble of thoughts and emotions. So, let me prepare you by saying that this was not easy for me to write and if I fall short of being eloquent and profound, give me grace, perhaps this is something that will come with more time.
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About MeI am a daughter of the king just trying to figure out the world. I am embarking on a new adventure come August and I could not be more excited! Thank you for stopping by, I hope you find something you like! CategoriesArchives
June 2020
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